Scratching Past the Surface

Last night, I was surfing channels and caught a part of a movie, Shallow Hal, 2001, that I had seen before. Soon after that finished, I caught another part of a movie, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, 1996, which I had never seen before. I saw similar themes in both movies, and though I have blogged on this theme, judging by appearances, somewhat recently, I felt I had some new thoughts.

In Shallow Hal, Hal is a guy who is constant pursuit of very beautiful women who do not return his interest, overlooking women he finds less physically attractive. Hal comes across an inspirational author who hypnotizes him into seeing the inner beauty (as outward) in the women he meets. This hypnosis trick even works on how Hal views other men (not that the story suggests that Hal is sexually attracted to other men.) Men with good hearts, Peace Corps volunteers, appear to him as more physically perfect than they are in reality.

Hal meets and dates a lovely woman named Rosemary whom Hal believes looks like, well, like Gwyneth Paltrow. The real Rosemary looks like Gwyneth Paltrow greatly fattened with some help from the makeup department. When Hal's shallow friend, Mauricio, learns that Hal is in a hypnotic state, he feels Hal's eyes should be opened and snaps him out of it. Hal then has to see if he can accept Rosemary as she really appears and, as this is a happy story, he does.

The Real Rosemary in Shallow Hal

The hypnosis aspect is interesting to me after doing some research for a previous blog entry Robot Love?. I had recently come across some Youtube videos of a hypnotist doing a comedy hypnosis demonstration at a state fair. I posted one in the previous blog. In a separate video I did not post, I came across one where the hypnotist had convinced some young guys they were seeing a naked photo of Britney Spears in a "magic" wallet. Their faces certainly registered that, in their minds at least, they were seeing something that was not there.

What was interesting to me in this movie, that I did not remember from my previous viewing, is that Hal not only sees the inner beauty as outward in certain women, he also sees the inner ugliness as outward in certain others. What if we lived in a world where evil people looked evil and ugly, and lovely, kind people looked beautiful? It rarely works exactly that way in reality.

In fairy tales and certain genres of fiction, the hero is always handsome, the heroine is always beautiful and the villain is always ugly. Real life is not so simple as that.

The Beautiful Cinderella and Handsome Prince Charming according to Disney

The Ugly Stepsisters (Who are also ugly in character)

The 1998 movie Ever After had a slightly different take on the Cinderella story. In Ever After, the stepsisters are not physically unattractive. The brunette, Jacqueline, is rather kind to Danielle (Cinderella), but she is also dominated by her mother and sister. The blonde, Marguerite, is beautiful but selfish and scheming, which makes her more threatening than an ugly stepsister when she attempts to charm the prince.

Megan Dodds as Marguerite De Ghent and Melanie Lynskey as Jacqueline De Ghent, the stepsisters, in Ever After

Drew Barrymore as Danielle (Cinderella), of course, is not unattractive either, but she is unlikely to catch the prince's attention dressed as a peasant and acting as servant to her stepmother. She first captures the prince's attention when she is dressed in her mother's clothes, acting as a noblewoman. The initial reason behind the disguise was not to fool the prince, but so that she would have the power to ransom a servant in court. She does, however, when questioned, give her mother's name to the prince, Comtesse Nicole de Lancret. As in other Cinderella stories, Danielle does go to the ball in a beautiful gown.

Drew Barrymore as Danielle in the ballroom scene in Ever After

There is a reason why physical beauty and negative inner traits often go together. Someone who receives too much affirmation for his or her looks can easily develop arrogance. Some beautiful people even learn to use their looks to their advantage as a manipulation tool.

At times, bad parenting can influence a person to be self-consumed. I've watched quite a few episodes of "Toddlers and Tiaras," the reality show about child pageants. These children are taught that it is extremely important not only to be beautiful but to be the most beautiful. They are pampered, indulged and rarely denied (unless denying the child's wishes helps her pageant chances which the parent wants more than the child does.) These children learn that their world revolves around them. This is an excellent way to foster outward beauty and bad character at the same time. On this show, I even observed one mother teaching her daughter how to manipulate her father for money to spend on pageant expenses. By being "cute" and acting charming, the girl could get what she wanted from her father. If this girl, at four or five years old, learns to manipulate her father with beauty and charm, what kind of girlfriend or wife will she be in the future?

Observe the spoiled behavior of the girl in the "Toddlers and Tiaras" video below.



I am not completely without sympathy for MacKenzie. All of the fussing that goes into preparation for pageants likely creates some stress that could provoke her to be cranky. I think she should be spared that stress. At the same time, no child should learn to speak with such disrespect towards her parents, and the parenting style has allowed her that freedom.

Evil does not always look evil. One example of that is with the "Barbie and Ken Killers."

Barbie and Ken Killers

This couple is as attractive as Barbie and Ken dolls. They do not look evil. They even had the appearance to those who knew them of being happily married. Who would have guessed that this man was an absolutely brutal serial rapist and killer and that his beautiful wife assisted him in his crimes?

Paul Bernardo bragged to police that he had raped 30 women. With his wife, Karla Homolka, they sexually assaulted and killed at least three girls. Some time ago, I watched a made-for-TV Lifetime movie about the couple and the crime spree. The movie was not at all graphic, but the nature of the crimes that are hinted at are quite disturbing even so. It was bothersome to the point that my emotional reaction, as I watched, induced a migraine or migraine aura. Bernardo was influenced by sadistic pornography, and suffice it to say that his victims went through a variety of torture, both physically and psychologically.

By looking at Bernardo, we do not see him as the type of character he is in reality. Perhaps, that is because we expect a criminal person to look the part. There are certain things we judge by appearances, sometimes with accuracy, sometimes not. If a person dresses with a spiked collar around the neck or a spiked bracelet, we may get the idea that the person is hostile. Similarly, you may get a certain idea of a person's character if they wear the T-shirt below.

I remember buying a pretzel at a pretzel stand in the mall from a young teen guy wearing a T-shirt with that very saying. I remember thinking, "What a terrible shirt to wear when you deal with the public all day." And then I wondered if his boss knew he was wearing such a shirt.

Even this area can be confusing. Not every hostile person dresses in a way as to outwardly display that attitude, and some hurting people, like a porcupine, present a prickly exterior as a defense mechanism. Hopefully, we can show that hurting person with the strange attire more kindness and understanding than he or she expects.

I am not trying to point out that all beautiful people are evil and that the average or below average looking people of the world are all stellar saints. Of course, that is not true. I do want to point out that character has a great deal more importance than appearances and that, without scratching past the surface, it is impossible to make a judgment about a person one way or another.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs explores the idea that the mate who is most suitable to you on a deeper level may come in different packaging than you expect, which, as I pointed out before, is a somewhat similar idea to Shallow Hal. The Truth About Cats and Dogs is essentially a retelling of Cyrano De Bergerac.

Cyrano De Bergerac, hidden in the bushes, woos Roxane with beautiful words, while Christian De Guiche presents the handsome front.

Cyrano De Bergerac was a real person in the 17th century. A loose biography was made of him in an 1897 play Cyrano De Bergerac. De Bergerac is in love with his cousin Roxane. He is intelligent and witty but embarrassed by his large nose. He learns that Roxane loves Christian De Guiche, another soldier in De Bergerac's regiment. De Guiche is quite the opposite, handsome but lacking in intelligence and wit. Together, they woo Roxane as one man, with De Guiche presenting the handsome front and De Bergerac writing all the love letters and poetry. Roxane marries De Guiche and corresponds with him (actually De Bergerac) while he is at war. De Guiche dies in battle, but Roxane still does not learn the true identity of the man she loves until 15 years later when De Bergerac visits her and reads to her one of De Guiche's letters which he wrote himself. Tragically, at this point, he is dying.

Cyrano De Bergerac and Roxane

The Truth About Cats and Dogs follows the story line somewhat of Cyrano De Bergerac in the confusing way that two women woo one man as one identity, but the ending is much more satisfying and happy. Dr. Abby Barnes (Jeanine Garofalo), a radio host of a show called The Truth About Cats and Dogs, has a wonderful stimulating conversation with a caller to the show, Brian (Ben Chaplin). Brian arranges a date with her, but insecure over her own looks, Abby sends instead her neighbor and friend, Noelle Slusarsky (Uma Thurman), a model who has more beauty than brains. This leads to all sorts of confusion. Brian continues to bond with the real Abby over the telephone while believing the beautiful Noelle is the actual Abby. Noelle tries several tactics, at times trying to assist her friend, and at times, pursuing Brian herself. Eventually, the confusion is sorted out, and Brian and Abby go on on a real date with one another.

From left to right: Brian, Noelle and Abby in The Truth About Cats and Dogs

There are a couple of wonderful lines in the movie. One is said by Brian, and when I heard it, it sounded like my very own thoughts, if not exactly verbatim, while watching Shallow Hal, something I have thought many times.

Brian says, "You know how someone's appearance can change the longer you know them? How a really attractive person, if you don't like them, can become more and more ugly; whereas someone you might not have even have noticed... that you wouldn't look at more than once, if you love them, can become the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. All you want to do is be near them."

In my own experience, I have found this to be true and thought a very similar thought, that an attractive person of poor character begins to look less attractive and a more ordinary person with a wonderful personality and character, begins to look better and better.

At one point, before the whole mystery is unraveled to Brian, Abby says to him, "So say you meet one of these no sparks women, and you really take the time to get to know her and then you become intellectually stimulated by her. You just really enjoy her personality, thereby igniting all your lust and passion. Have you ever thought about that?"

I don't like the word "lust" so much. I'd rather replace that word with "attraction." Even so, I would hope it would work this way. I know it did for my parents. They wrote for years before they met in person and for quite some time even before photos were exchanged.

Brian and Abby one on one

"How To Tell a Prince from a Frog" -- Interview with Artist and Author Christine Kerrick

Christine Kerrick is a wonderful and talented artist. She is a friend I know only through facebook, but I've admired her art for a while.

I've enjoyed her whimsical art like this one.

And her art centered on spiritual themes...

When I found out she had a book coming out, "How To Tell a Prince From a Frog: Law Enforcement Techniques For Knowing Who You're Dating," I knew I could get behind her with it.

I told Christine that I joke sometimes that I should write a book called "Dates From Hell and How To Avoid Them."

I know some princes. Three of them are my biological brothers. Some of them are my Christian brothers, and some have already found their princesses. I'm grateful for the good guys in my life.

But, I've also known some frogs. I seem to attract them. The froggiest of frogs and the wartiest of toads have hopped out of the bog to either date me or be my admirer. I've known a frog with a prison record, a frog who ended up in prison some time after I was no longer in contact with him, a frog with a drug abuse history, a frog with mental illness, who was also a liar and manipulator, and frogs who showed warning signs that they had the capacity to be abusive (although I was not the victim of it) either sexually or physically. My experiences were short-lived, because I did see the warning signs. I did not pick up these men (ahem, frogs) in bars. I met them in what should be the safest of all places to meet a potential mate, in church.

I apologize to any reader who may be avoiding church with the thought that the church is full of hypocrites, because the above statement would seem to confirm your fear. The father of Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian Dutch woman who hid Jews in her home during the Holocaust, once said, "Just because a mouse gets into the cookie jar doesn't make him a cookie." Just like that mouse in the cookie jar, going to church by itself doesn't necessarily make a person a Christian. Even Jesus Himself talked about hypocrites whom He likened to "whitened sepulchres" and false prophets whom He called wolves in sheep's clothing. Notice that if there are wolves in sheep's clothing among the flock, there is also a true flock.

In Matthew 10:16, Jesus says to His disciples, "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." In other words, we should be harmless but not naive. Christine's book should equip you to be "wise as a serpent."

Her book addresses how to pick up on clues of your date's character, whether good or bad, and how to recognize red flags.

Christine Kerrick was born and raised in West Chester, Pennsylvania and received a BFA in illustration from the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. Christine has some other book projects in the works as well as six published comic books which, of course, she illustrated herself.

One of Christine Kerrick's comic books below:

"How To Tell a Prince From a Frog" also features several of Christine's illustrations.

"I love writing fiction and have written six comic books. I am working on a couple of novels and have finished (but not published) a children's book. I'm working on a second one," she said.

Christine told me she felt inspired to write her current book "when I met one final Frog who lied to me and manipulated me and those around me."

Christine's artwork below, "Sweet Nothings," is intended to represent a sweet-talking liar.

"I wondered how this could happen and how I could let someone so dangerous slip past me. As I started researching things, I saw that other women had encountered dangerous men like this one too," she said.

The book is aimed towards single women of any age, not necessarily towards teenagers or young women.

Christine feels that her personal experiences have given her the wisdom to write this book.

"I couldn't have written this before that final experience with deception. I have also done extensive research in the years following and talked to scores of women about their experiences, all of whom share many common threads as far as how these Frogs deceived, what they said, the repetitive nature of their sins and the fact that the women 'knew' something was off but went ahead anyway," said Christine.

I noted that the title of the book sounds humorous and asked if the book's content was humorous.

"It is humorous off and on, but focuses on teaching and encouragement," said Christine. "It is a heavy subject, so I tried to inject humor whenever I could."

Christine expressed that frogs can be found in other contexts besides dating such as in business or acquaintance type relationships.

"This isn't to say we should condemn people but be able to know the signs that they are being deceptive and be wise enough to either confront the topic with them or leave and move on. In a dating realm, it is better to move on when you experience deception. Someone who lies to you or otherwise deceives you is not someone who will make a trustworthy spouse," she stated.

Purchase Christine's new book on Amazon and learn to distinguish a prince from a frog!

Robot "Love?"

In 2004, I went to the theater with a friend to see the movie "Stepford Wives." Even before I had seen the movie, I had some understanding of the basic story concept since my mother had seen the 1975 version of the movie.

The story, a slightly creepy dark comedy, explores several interesting ideas. What if a human being could be robotically programmed to "love" you? Would that love be rewarding if the person's will was not involved? Similar themes have been explored in other ways such as in the movie "Love Potion Number 9." What if someone loved you but only because that person was under the influence of a potion?

Sandra Bullock and Tate Donovan in "Love Potion Number 9."

"Stepford Wives" also explores another "what if." What if a human being could be robotically programmed to do all the perfect things? The person's natural weaknesses and flaws would be erased. The person would be "perfect," but the person's will is not involved. How rewarding could this arrangement be?

The Female Improvement System



Although the 2004 "Stepford Wives" movie explores the husband and wife relationship, with the wife as robot, the '70's series of movies included "Stepford Children" and "Stepford Husbands," so the same concept could be applied to artificially perfect husbands and children. If your wife or husband, son or daughter hugged you, but only because they were programmed to do so, would it be as rewarding as if it were an act of the will? Planting computer chips in human brains is a bit far-fetched for real life, but other mind control devices such as brainwashing and hypnosis are not.

Sometimes experts in hypnosis persuade people to do goofy things they wouldn't normally do for our entertainment. I personally would never volunteer for such an experiment, but at the same time, I confess I have found watching these experiments entertaining and disturbing at the same time. Below is a man hypnotising members of an audience at a state fair. Notice that one of the girls is convinced she is in love with the hypnotist and wants to hug him.



On the subject of robotics, I've been doing a bit of reading as research for some of my fiction writing. Some roboticists are interested in making robots as human-like as possible. This Japanese humanoid robot below, HRP-4C, sings and dances while imitating human-like mouth and head movements and human breathing.



The "Daily Mail" online, on June 12 of this year, had an article about this "last moment" robot below that could soothe a lonely person who is about to die in lieu of family or friends.

Eddie Wrenn of the "Daily Mail" writes:

"A smooth white robot starts gently rubbing your arm with a swing-saw motion and then, with a metallic voice, says: 'I am the Last Moment Robot. I am here to help you and guide you through your last moment on Earth. 'I am sorry that your family and friends can't be with you right now, but don't be afraid. I am here to comfort you. You are not alone, you are with me. Your family and friends love you very much, they will remember you after you are gone. ' Last moments: The robot gently swings its arm back and forth to simulate a relaxing stroke.

Is this a better way to go than dying alone? Or is it creepy? Is this kind of affection wanted when it is received by placebo, or worse, simply the pre-recorded responses from an unthinking, programmed machine?"

As fascinating as robot technology is, I don't think robots can replace humans in such a personal role, and judging from the reaction to the article, I think most people agree.

On a less creepy note, Connie Francis, in the '60's, sang a light and funny song, but suitable to the theme of this blog, "Robot Man," about how a robot's company would be more reliable than a live date. Here are some actual robots dancing to the song.



Really though, the "Stepford Wives" story plot has always made me think of a theological application. God could have created us, automatically programmed to be morally perfect and to love God as He loves us. He didn't He gave us free will.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16 To believe or not to believe is a choice of our will.

Once we believe, God works with us to morally perfect us. Romans 8:28 a"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son..."

From C.S. Lewis in "Mere Christianity:"

"God created things which had free will. That means creatures which cn either go wrong or right. Some people think they can imagine a creature which was free but had no possibility of going wrong: I can not. If a thing is free to be good, it is also free to be bad. It makes evil possible. Why then did God give us free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having. A world of automata -- of creatures that worked like machines -- would hardly be worth creating. The happiness which God designs for His higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that they must be free."