Scratching Past the Surface

Last night, I was surfing channels and caught a part of a movie, Shallow Hal, 2001, that I had seen before. Soon after that finished, I caught another part of a movie, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, 1996, which I had never seen before. I saw similar themes in both movies, and though I have blogged on this theme, judging by appearances, somewhat recently, I felt I had some new thoughts.

In Shallow Hal, Hal is a guy who is constant pursuit of very beautiful women who do not return his interest, overlooking women he finds less physically attractive. Hal comes across an inspirational author who hypnotizes him into seeing the inner beauty (as outward) in the women he meets. This hypnosis trick even works on how Hal views other men (not that the story suggests that Hal is sexually attracted to other men.) Men with good hearts, Peace Corps volunteers, appear to him as more physically perfect than they are in reality.

Hal meets and dates a lovely woman named Rosemary whom Hal believes looks like, well, like Gwyneth Paltrow. The real Rosemary looks like Gwyneth Paltrow greatly fattened with some help from the makeup department. When Hal's shallow friend, Mauricio, learns that Hal is in a hypnotic state, he feels Hal's eyes should be opened and snaps him out of it. Hal then has to see if he can accept Rosemary as she really appears and, as this is a happy story, he does.

The Real Rosemary in Shallow Hal

The hypnosis aspect is interesting to me after doing some research for a previous blog entry Robot Love?. I had recently come across some Youtube videos of a hypnotist doing a comedy hypnosis demonstration at a state fair. I posted one in the previous blog. In a separate video I did not post, I came across one where the hypnotist had convinced some young guys they were seeing a naked photo of Britney Spears in a "magic" wallet. Their faces certainly registered that, in their minds at least, they were seeing something that was not there.

What was interesting to me in this movie, that I did not remember from my previous viewing, is that Hal not only sees the inner beauty as outward in certain women, he also sees the inner ugliness as outward in certain others. What if we lived in a world where evil people looked evil and ugly, and lovely, kind people looked beautiful? It rarely works exactly that way in reality.

In fairy tales and certain genres of fiction, the hero is always handsome, the heroine is always beautiful and the villain is always ugly. Real life is not so simple as that.

The Beautiful Cinderella and Handsome Prince Charming according to Disney

The Ugly Stepsisters (Who are also ugly in character)

The 1998 movie Ever After had a slightly different take on the Cinderella story. In Ever After, the stepsisters are not physically unattractive. The brunette, Jacqueline, is rather kind to Danielle (Cinderella), but she is also dominated by her mother and sister. The blonde, Marguerite, is beautiful but selfish and scheming, which makes her more threatening than an ugly stepsister when she attempts to charm the prince.

Megan Dodds as Marguerite De Ghent and Melanie Lynskey as Jacqueline De Ghent, the stepsisters, in Ever After

Drew Barrymore as Danielle (Cinderella), of course, is not unattractive either, but she is unlikely to catch the prince's attention dressed as a peasant and acting as servant to her stepmother. She first captures the prince's attention when she is dressed in her mother's clothes, acting as a noblewoman. The initial reason behind the disguise was not to fool the prince, but so that she would have the power to ransom a servant in court. She does, however, when questioned, give her mother's name to the prince, Comtesse Nicole de Lancret. As in other Cinderella stories, Danielle does go to the ball in a beautiful gown.

Drew Barrymore as Danielle in the ballroom scene in Ever After

There is a reason why physical beauty and negative inner traits often go together. Someone who receives too much affirmation for his or her looks can easily develop arrogance. Some beautiful people even learn to use their looks to their advantage as a manipulation tool.

At times, bad parenting can influence a person to be self-consumed. I've watched quite a few episodes of "Toddlers and Tiaras," the reality show about child pageants. These children are taught that it is extremely important not only to be beautiful but to be the most beautiful. They are pampered, indulged and rarely denied (unless denying the child's wishes helps her pageant chances which the parent wants more than the child does.) These children learn that their world revolves around them. This is an excellent way to foster outward beauty and bad character at the same time. On this show, I even observed one mother teaching her daughter how to manipulate her father for money to spend on pageant expenses. By being "cute" and acting charming, the girl could get what she wanted from her father. If this girl, at four or five years old, learns to manipulate her father with beauty and charm, what kind of girlfriend or wife will she be in the future?

Observe the spoiled behavior of the girl in the "Toddlers and Tiaras" video below.



I am not completely without sympathy for MacKenzie. All of the fussing that goes into preparation for pageants likely creates some stress that could provoke her to be cranky. I think she should be spared that stress. At the same time, no child should learn to speak with such disrespect towards her parents, and the parenting style has allowed her that freedom.

Evil does not always look evil. One example of that is with the "Barbie and Ken Killers."

Barbie and Ken Killers

This couple is as attractive as Barbie and Ken dolls. They do not look evil. They even had the appearance to those who knew them of being happily married. Who would have guessed that this man was an absolutely brutal serial rapist and killer and that his beautiful wife assisted him in his crimes?

Paul Bernardo bragged to police that he had raped 30 women. With his wife, Karla Homolka, they sexually assaulted and killed at least three girls. Some time ago, I watched a made-for-TV Lifetime movie about the couple and the crime spree. The movie was not at all graphic, but the nature of the crimes that are hinted at are quite disturbing even so. It was bothersome to the point that my emotional reaction, as I watched, induced a migraine or migraine aura. Bernardo was influenced by sadistic pornography, and suffice it to say that his victims went through a variety of torture, both physically and psychologically.

By looking at Bernardo, we do not see him as the type of character he is in reality. Perhaps, that is because we expect a criminal person to look the part. There are certain things we judge by appearances, sometimes with accuracy, sometimes not. If a person dresses with a spiked collar around the neck or a spiked bracelet, we may get the idea that the person is hostile. Similarly, you may get a certain idea of a person's character if they wear the T-shirt below.

I remember buying a pretzel at a pretzel stand in the mall from a young teen guy wearing a T-shirt with that very saying. I remember thinking, "What a terrible shirt to wear when you deal with the public all day." And then I wondered if his boss knew he was wearing such a shirt.

Even this area can be confusing. Not every hostile person dresses in a way as to outwardly display that attitude, and some hurting people, like a porcupine, present a prickly exterior as a defense mechanism. Hopefully, we can show that hurting person with the strange attire more kindness and understanding than he or she expects.

I am not trying to point out that all beautiful people are evil and that the average or below average looking people of the world are all stellar saints. Of course, that is not true. I do want to point out that character has a great deal more importance than appearances and that, without scratching past the surface, it is impossible to make a judgment about a person one way or another.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs explores the idea that the mate who is most suitable to you on a deeper level may come in different packaging than you expect, which, as I pointed out before, is a somewhat similar idea to Shallow Hal. The Truth About Cats and Dogs is essentially a retelling of Cyrano De Bergerac.

Cyrano De Bergerac, hidden in the bushes, woos Roxane with beautiful words, while Christian De Guiche presents the handsome front.

Cyrano De Bergerac was a real person in the 17th century. A loose biography was made of him in an 1897 play Cyrano De Bergerac. De Bergerac is in love with his cousin Roxane. He is intelligent and witty but embarrassed by his large nose. He learns that Roxane loves Christian De Guiche, another soldier in De Bergerac's regiment. De Guiche is quite the opposite, handsome but lacking in intelligence and wit. Together, they woo Roxane as one man, with De Guiche presenting the handsome front and De Bergerac writing all the love letters and poetry. Roxane marries De Guiche and corresponds with him (actually De Bergerac) while he is at war. De Guiche dies in battle, but Roxane still does not learn the true identity of the man she loves until 15 years later when De Bergerac visits her and reads to her one of De Guiche's letters which he wrote himself. Tragically, at this point, he is dying.

Cyrano De Bergerac and Roxane

The Truth About Cats and Dogs follows the story line somewhat of Cyrano De Bergerac in the confusing way that two women woo one man as one identity, but the ending is much more satisfying and happy. Dr. Abby Barnes (Jeanine Garofalo), a radio host of a show called The Truth About Cats and Dogs, has a wonderful stimulating conversation with a caller to the show, Brian (Ben Chaplin). Brian arranges a date with her, but insecure over her own looks, Abby sends instead her neighbor and friend, Noelle Slusarsky (Uma Thurman), a model who has more beauty than brains. This leads to all sorts of confusion. Brian continues to bond with the real Abby over the telephone while believing the beautiful Noelle is the actual Abby. Noelle tries several tactics, at times trying to assist her friend, and at times, pursuing Brian herself. Eventually, the confusion is sorted out, and Brian and Abby go on on a real date with one another.

From left to right: Brian, Noelle and Abby in The Truth About Cats and Dogs

There are a couple of wonderful lines in the movie. One is said by Brian, and when I heard it, it sounded like my very own thoughts, if not exactly verbatim, while watching Shallow Hal, something I have thought many times.

Brian says, "You know how someone's appearance can change the longer you know them? How a really attractive person, if you don't like them, can become more and more ugly; whereas someone you might not have even have noticed... that you wouldn't look at more than once, if you love them, can become the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. All you want to do is be near them."

In my own experience, I have found this to be true and thought a very similar thought, that an attractive person of poor character begins to look less attractive and a more ordinary person with a wonderful personality and character, begins to look better and better.

At one point, before the whole mystery is unraveled to Brian, Abby says to him, "So say you meet one of these no sparks women, and you really take the time to get to know her and then you become intellectually stimulated by her. You just really enjoy her personality, thereby igniting all your lust and passion. Have you ever thought about that?"

I don't like the word "lust" so much. I'd rather replace that word with "attraction." Even so, I would hope it would work this way. I know it did for my parents. They wrote for years before they met in person and for quite some time even before photos were exchanged.

Brian and Abby one on one